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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me serving as her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an audience. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, posting them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my way of offering access, giving her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we make together can achieve: an opening. I know not all people enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal videographer, but companions help each other in small ways. My assumption was recording a clip now and then would be enjoyable for her. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She needs to honor her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some authentic experiences, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their friendship?